The 7 Deadly: Pride
In college, a snarky guy asked me,
“What is your claim to fame?”
He was looking down at me as I sat on a barstool. I was certain he didn’t think I’d have an answer, wanting only for me to ask him the question. I took a swig of beer and responded,
“I have traveled to 4 of the 7 continents before I could legally drink in the USA.”
I smiled back at him with the pride of a world travel; the pride of a self-sufficient, international adventurer.
The Wednesday before Vegas I went to the bank.
“Ohhh Vegas,” the teller cooed. “I always told myself that before I get married I’m going to Vegas.”
I handed over my license, “I’m excited to get the hell out of dodge and let loose.”
“Who you going with?”
“Well now that’s the way to do it. You know they say what happens…” she stopped midsentence, “Do you know your license is expired?”
I got to my sister’s house at 6:00pm. She met me at the door with a pile of mail and a doubtful look on her face.
“I’m not sure it’s in there.”
I tore open the envelope from the DMV, inside was a paper camera card instead of a license. I distinctly remember the online form asking if I wanted to take a new picture. And, I distinctly remember not checking that box. I panicked, all of the DMVs were closed, my passport was expired and my flight was leaving the next day at 7am. My brother-in-law called TSA and confirmed that the camera card would be enough but I had my doubts.
The girls arrived at my house at 9pm; I wasn’t packed, the studio was still a mess and I had an expired license. This was my first introduction to Cece. I told them my airport plan of attack; they didn’t seem concerned or even mad. I felt relieved. They drank while I packed, trying to turn my workday wardrobe into a sexy Vegas ensemble.
In the morning, my college friend needed to use the bathroom.
“Does your door close?”
“Oh…no sorry. My air conditioning unit got shoved under the sink while the renovations were happening.”
“Really? Seriously? I got the beer sh*ts over here.”
“Just do your business and don’t worry about it.”
“This is so embarrassing”
I sat on the couch preparing my wallet. Cece was on the floor with her purse between her legs. I winked at her and yelled back,
“Who does #2 work for?”
“Not funny. This is not funny.” My friend answered from the bathroom.
I laughed. Cece didn’t. I looked at her and she said in almost a whisper,
“Oh my Gawd, I don’t have my license.”
In my hand I had 3 old licenses with holes punched through them that I was using as my backup. I cocked my head waiting for the joke. Instead her face turned a pale white.
“I was trying to be responsible and made photocopies of my passport and license. I have those; they are valid, not expired. But I must have left my license on the printer.”
“Unbelievable,” I finally mustered. “Somehow you managed to one-up me. I didn’t think it was possible.”
We managed a laugh as my friend emerged from the bathroom.
“Seriously that’s just not right, you need to move the air conditioner.”
“Yeah, well we might have bigger problems.”
A Warrior Princess
Ps. Fortuna proved kind; Cece and I made it through security. And, the plane’s bathroom door closed.