Last Wednesday I woke up like Jerry Maguire thinking, “Today is a very big day.” I had to test with the Mestre for my green belt and then do my first WPmusings reading at Jose Pistolas, time felt crunched together like an overstuffed sandwich. At work I received a message asking for a writer’s bio. What?!?!?! I screeched. I didn’t have a bio. I scrambled trying to come up with something respectable and fitting of a Warrior Princess. My eyes darted around my grey box searching the pictures and quotes I pasted around for inspiration. They settled on a Zen Masters quote: The eye that sees cannot see itself.
Oh that’s great, really helpful Mr. Buddha man. I sighed at the irony. After some contemplation I lowered my head to find the answer in a silver framed quote an Old Friend once said to me.
Thank you, I bowed reverently to my imaginary Buddha man, thank you.
* * *
“Is Warrior Princess ready to read?” Dan the host asked from the stage.
As I got on stage 10 WPmusings readers and friends cheered. Their support felt AMAZING. The bright spotlights surprised me. I squinted into the dark abyss that was the audience as Dan read my bio:
A Warrior Princess is a freelance writer, philosopher and artist; a lover of wisdom and a seeker of truth. “Take It or Leave It: The Random Musings of a Warrior Princess” is a blog tracking the progress and thoughts of this Warrior Princess as she journeys to complete her ultimate mission: to write a novel by age 30. She has 18 months remaining.
Then Dan asked, “Describe your blog?”
I felt a lost dialogue and connection without being able to make direct eye contact with the audience.
“How many of you work in a 9-5 cubicle job?” I asked the darkness.
I laughed. “Well I do and….”
I continued to give a brief description of cubicle life and the format of my posts. After I introduced my seven deadly sins series, I told the crowd:
“I’d like to give the audience a double dog dare. I’m going to read three of the seven deadly sins, if you guess which sin I read you’ll win one of the following four prizes: 1. A Yards beer, 2. Profile you on my blog, 3. A Stained Glass Goddess colored by yours truly (picture featured above) 4. I’ll mail you a wooden surf board postcard that I found in a New Jersey souvenir shop. Sound good?”
I read greed, lust, and envy and described the corresponding pictures before each reading like a librarian at story hour. When I stumbled upon page breaks I improvised making the Wayne’s World interlude noise. I learned sustaining a Boston accent was hahd. At the end the audience guessed pride for both greed and lust until a guy at the bar raised his hand and got it right. He was our only winner; the game lost its momentum.
Dan continued in a conversational tone,
“Have you ever done peyote, Warrior Princess?”
“Why Dan I can’t say that I have.”
“That surprises me.”
From the abyss my older brother shouted “Not without me.”
The crowd chuckled.
Dan continued, “You know what happens when you Google image search A Warrior Princess? Lot’s of Zena out there but not one picture of you.”
“I’m building it up Dan slowing. Turtle speed.”
I looked at my small group of supporters and felt proud of WPmusings. THANK YOU all for coming out.
A Warrior Princess
Ps. Quotes above are taken from memory.