Wedding Bells: A Tribute

It’s a BIG week for the tribe, my brother John is getting married!  It feels only right to mark this momentous event with a tribute.  Often my girlfriends have asked, “What’s it like having an older brother?”  Below is a chronological flipbook answering this question:

28 years as SisterSaw (ie. Chainsaw’s little sister)

Pre-speaking years

* When I was an infant my bro (2 at the time) insisted on holding me.  For 2 minutes he  swaddled me in his arms making cooing sounds until he got bored, then he tossed me off his lap explaining, “I’m done now.”

Grade School

*In first grade my brother let me in on this secret.  Whenever my mom was out of town he got sent to the school nurse and eventually sent home to my grandmother’s house with a “stomach ache”.  Awaiting him there was a couch lined with bed sheets, a puke bucket and a blank piece of paper on which he wrote his own Dunkin Donuts request list.  His order read something like this:

-4 Bavarian
-3 Glazed
-4 Apple crumb
-1 Whatever Grandma wants

*Weekends in September and October were spent running through cornfields collecting knobs of corn.  For weeks we stockpiled this corn, individually plucking the kernels from the knob to throw at houses.  We called this tic-tacing.  One Halloween my mom refused to let us leave the neighborhood block.  Despondent, we broke our #1 Rule: Don’t tic-tac the neighbors, and unleashed 4 weeks of corn on our next store neighbor’s house.  When the door opened everyone scrambled running for cover, except my ingenious brother who thought it wise to hide behind a row of bushes that separated our two houses.  Stupidly, I followed.  So too did George the neighbor who yelled at us with a fire-engine red face that can only be described as MAD.

*I was in 4th grade when my younger brother Seawolf was born.  For two weeks, my brother John refused his friend’s invitations to play; too enraptured with his new baby brother to be bothered with anything else.

*Once when my parents were away, John went into the refrigerator and pulled out Dad’s special almonds.  He told me that this was a rare and expensive treat, and for this reason we can only take one.  Since he had already tried one himself, he told me I could have the whole nut.  I opted for us to sshare but he insisted it was all for me.  I was so touched by this, I popped it right into my mouth.  When I bit into the nut it explode with an offensive garlic taste.  Instead of spiting it out, I chewed the whole thing in spite while he laughed at me like a hyena.  For three whole days I stank of garlic and was asked to refraining from speaking because of my offensive stench.

More to come,

A Warrior Princess

 

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4 comments on “Wedding Bells: A Tribute

  1. Melissa says:

    Love it! Can’t wait to celebrate with you all!

  2. Mamacita says:

    You know Ick had that bank box in your picture.

  3. allshadesyellow says:

    a bro’s love runs deep…and he has taught oyu the ways of the world well…enjoy all the moments of this wonderful event!!

  4. HSD says:

    Siblings.. without them I wouldn’t have had insecurities and i would have had 50% less scars…but no memories and no direction..thanks guys…HSD

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