While searching YouTube, I stumbled upon the above Ted talk — perfect for those interested in self-care through self-love. At once, Tracy McMillan’s vulnerable confidence drew me in, translating her mistakes through the lens of experience and self-reflection. She shares herself openly, with an unapologetic, disarming acceptance. By being present, by bearing witness, we the audience experience a rare opportunity for growth through authentic story transfer. This is heart-to-heart story medicine, make no mistake about it. In listening to Tracey’s journey, we get closer to understanding our own vulnerabilities.
As I watched the video I was reminded of the vows I mentioned a couple posts back — the ones taken at 25, promising to see my novel through to publication, promising to value writing as a top priority. As Tracy puts it, this is the day, I dropped down on one knee and put a ring on it. The day I asked myself to marry me; just the way I was. Tracy explains the difficult process of marrying oneself despite the reflective mirrors that distort identity and self-worth, making it seem insufferable to continue on as you are. But continue on you must, because in this marriage there is no hiding from the past — only learning through the pain. There is no opportunity for lies, because you can’t run from you — the bad bits always catch up.
Tracy highlights the importance of embracing the person you are including the faults and imperfections and actively choose to love yourself. For me, my vows marked the day I promised never to let go of my inner visionary self, my inner child dreamer. I, like Tracy, learned how important it was to know that I was always going to be present for myself, and that in time of great peril I’d be able to nurse and love myself back to health. With this knowledge comes a rooted strength, a spiritual home built of bricks, mortar and solid foundational material. The map to inner marriage is a journey uniquely your own, but one worthy of making because afterwards you are transformed. Through self-matrimony, you’ll learn how to love fully, first yourself and then others eventually learning to love and accept others where they are, just the way they are. In many real ways this is my definition of freedom.
Going to the Chapel,
A Warrior Princess